About Me

Firstly, I am lazy.

My laziness affects my academic activity, my walking anywhere, my changing the channel of the telly, this website, my career as a professional Iron Man tri-athlete (not really), my poor diet and my keeping in touch with old friends, but also, sadly, my knitting.

I am a terrible knitter for two reasons. The first is laziness: I never do tension squares, I join in a new yarn by tying knots (which according to Montse Stanley one should never do, under any circumstances) I have never blocked a pressed pieces before making up and my idea of making up is to use a lame sort of running stitch. With some knots tied up for good measure.

The second reason why I am a terrible knitter is that I am loose. The title of this site is not just an invitation for my friends to cast aspersions on my chastity. Oh no. My tension is that of a person who makes loops round her wrists rather than needles. (Don’t worry, the needle size given in the patterns are for normal knitters.) I didn’t think being loose mattered until some disasters with cotton. Now I knit everything with two needle sizes smaller than recommended by the yarn manufacturer.

However, knitting is the reason I get out of bed in the morning. I use the term ‘morning’ loosely.

I took up spinning my own wool, as I foolishly thought it would save money. It has turned into an addiction, and my love hate relationship with my wheel is akin to the relationship one has with habit-forming narcotics.

I get righteously angry about things quite a lot. You know: sweatshops, carbon dioxide emissions, the patriarchy, the arms trade, that sort of thing. More often than not this leads to guilt rather than anger, however. I use a Mooncup and make my own wool and feel all self-sufficient earth goddess-y, breaking the capitalist economic structures my engaging in a pastime for wimmin, mimicking the creation cycle that us life-giving girls are part of by making stuff with my hands. But let’s face it, I’m stuck in the cogs of The Machine. I can’t boycott Nestle as I like Kit-Kats too much and sometimes I can’t resist the stuff in the shops that I know has been (badly) stitched together by legless Ugandan children. Even though I wish everyone would use independent little bookshops record shops, I get stuff off Amazon all the time. I am bad, bad, bad.

Another thing that I am is impressed if you’ve managed to read up to here. So pat yourself on the back. Or leave a comment. T’would be much appreciated.

I am very very slow at replying to things, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t read and appreciate them, and won’t reply one day. Especially if you’re knitting any of my patterns!